“I Fell in Love with Hope” by Lancali is a heartbreaking story of love, friendship, and death. Self-published in 2022, “I Fell in Love with Hope ” was 21-year-old Lancali’s (pen name for Lou-Andreá Callewaert) debut novel. It covers heavy topics such as eating disorders, domestic violence, self-harm, and suicide, meaning it may not be for some readers.
In a YouTube video titled “Why I Wrote I Fell in Love with Hope” on her channel, Lancali explains how she and her best friend Sam had the idea, “Of writing a story where healthy people get to experience what it’s like to be sick through characters, because every book we’d ever read about us wasn’t written by people like us… it was written by people looking in, rather than people looking out.”
“I Fell in Love with Hope” is a work of fiction but it’s based heavily on the author’s life. She used her experience of being chronically ill and the effect that losing her best friend Sam had on her to write the story.
The book follows a teenager named Sam, named after the author’s late best friend, who lives in a hospital. The love of Sam’s life died in front of them before the events of the book. The book shows this, and the evolution of their relationship, from flashbacks scattered throughout the book. Sam’s lover, also named Sam, was the joy of their life, they describe him as having the sun in his eyes. This death hit Sam really hard and they swear to never fall in love again. They convince themself that loving someone isn’t worth the pain of losing them.
Time passes and Sam starts meeting new people in the hospital: Neo, who has an eating disorder; Sony, who has a damaged lung; and Coeur, who has a heart problem. This group of sick rebels work hard to steal from life just like life has stolen from them. Their motto is, “Time will cease, disease will fester, and death will die.”
After one of their trips out of the hospital to steal from a gas station, the group is introduced to someone new, Hikari, who suffers from depression. Sam describes Hikari as having the sun in her eyes. They are instantly drawn towards her, but they’re scared. Hikari reminds them so much of their past lover.
Sam tries to avoid Hikari, and they try to not fall in love with her, but in the end they accept that love and loss are both equally important parts of life. You can’t have one without the other. They learn this from Hikari but also their friends.
Lancali does an amazing job writing her characters and making the readers care deeply for them.
In a review for The College Reporter, an independent student newspaper of Franklin and Marshall College, Crystal Olague wrote, “This connection that readers can make with these characters makes it hard for us to watch these kids spend their lives in a hospital, find love, and watch it be ripped away from them. Reading this made me reflect on my life and the love I have in it because I realized I have been taking something so special for granted.”
When originally trying to publish her book, Lancali was told no again and again, leading to her self-publishing it through Amazon. Lancali found tons of support on TikTok where she advertised “I Fell in Love with Hope,” selling 30 thousand copies in two months in 2022. After the book blew up on TikTok, it finally caught the attention of publishers and was traditionally published through Emily Bestler Books/Atria in June of 2023.
“I Fell in Love with Hope” is a great book. It’s a tragic tale that brings the reader to the verge of tears just thinking about it. The relationships between the characters are beautiful. Their love for eachother is so strong, you can feel it through the page. This book describes the beauty of friendship and the limitless bounds of love.
