The Real Deal: Is there really a Santa Claus?


Dabbing on the world because he knows he will never be discovered, Santa is a figurehead that many kids grow up believing in. Because of his advanced technology, Santa may never be formally discovered, but it is obvious that he exists.

Margaux Hunter, Editorials Editor

 Many kids are led to believe that the happy and mysterious old man who lives in the North Pole delivers billions of gifts to over half a billion kids across the world on Christmas Eve night. These kids are then disappointed when they find out that their parents are the ones wrapping presents, faking handwriting, and eating the cookies that were left for the supposed for Saint Nick. But what if Santa is actually real?

 One argument that many people make when they try to disprove Santa’s existence is the fact that it is impossible to deliver the number of presents that these 526 million kids requested in one night. However, part of Einstein’s Theory of Relativity says that a clock in Santa’s sleigh will tick slower than everyone else’s clocks, due to the velocity differences. So Santa, traveling faster than the speed of sound, would experience time moving slower than the sleeping children, who are not moving. In addition, if he starts at the International Date Line and heads west, he can maximize his time by using the time zones to his advantage. Since most kids live north of the equator where the nights are longer than the days, he would have just over 24 hours to deliver all of the presents.

 However, if he travels at a speed faster than sound, why do we not hear sonic booms? Well, the argument is that his reindeer have the special ability to chirp at just the right frequency and just loud enough that it cancels out the sound of the boom. This is obviously true; they are magical reindeer… one has a red nose.

 According to history, Saint Nick was born in Turkey around 270 A.D. So he is probably extremely frail, senile, and super stressed from delivering millions of presents once a year, every year. So how has he not died yet? Us mortal humans have begun developing methods of gene therapy. Such methods have been tested on mice and have increased their overall life expectancy by 24%, the detailed results of which were published in EMBO Molecular Medicine. Santa has most likely been using similar gene therapy for hundreds of years to keep himself in good health.

 Another argument that many non believers make is how he produces all the gifts. Santa obviously can not go to the mall to purchase all of these gifts; he would risk exposure. His elves are actually very intelligent scientists, with knowledge of nanomachines. These tiny machines can produce gifts from soot, snow, and chemicals found abundantly in the atmosphere. Some argue that the elves program these machines before he leaves, and they produce the gifts during Santa’s flight.

 Lastly, although there are next to no sightings of Santa (because of his invisibility cloak, duh), NORAD can track Santa’s whereabouts. This is a trusted source, as it was used during the Cold War to track spies and such. NORAD is an alliance between the US and Canada, and exists today to provide aeronautical safety to North America. Sophomore Michael Stone said, “The Santa tracker online is hard proof that he is real, and have you seen all the movies about him?”

 Santa is clearly real. Modern science is only beginning to catch up to Santa’s technological standard, finally giving us some answers to the many questions surrounding Santa Claus. Even in the unlikely event that Santa is not real, he still provides a way for parents to teach their kids the value of faith in something that you can not see, touch, hear, or feel. That is the Real Deal.